Spoilers, Obviously!

I found myself trying to tell someone what Avengers: Infinity War was all about but with so many great characters that we have grown to know and love I can’t just sum it up in a couple of tight sentences. So I’m going to go scene by scene with the characters as we meet them in the film and take you through the character’s actions and motivations.

Let’s start with the big bad. I feel like this is really Thanos’ movie. He is given humanity and realistic motivations. He’s not just some impersonal CGI creation bent on world domination. We come to feel for him and even empathize with him at times. We’ve seen him a couple of times in the previous movies but really haven’t had an opportunity to learn much about him besides the fact that he makes lots of people nervous and that he is Gamora’s dad and killed Drax’s wife and daughter.

Thanos’ Journey

I don’t know why people get so upset about my plan. I am trying to make sure that there are enough resources to go around. All of these mouths to feed are taking a toll on our universe. It can’t be allowed to continue unchecked. My plan will eliminate poverty, hunger, war, and so much more. I’m not looking for supreme power or domination, I just want to rest and let the universe thank me for their newfound peace and prosperity.

It is an unfortunate consequence that half of all life must be eliminated for my plan to work, but you know what they say about making omelettes and breaking eggs. When I get all of the Infinity Stones, I will be able to take care of this problem instantly. They won’t feel a thing, it will be as if they never even existed.

Asgard

I’ve sent several other people to try and collect these stones for me and they continue to fail me. I’m finally just taking matters into my own hands. First, I went over to Zandar and got the Power Stone from the puny Nova Corps. Then I planned to go to Asgard but when I showed up, the planet had just exploded and I got the drop on them. I had heard about this God of Thunder and I was surprised how easily he was subdued.

His slimy brother Loki failed me before and I wasn’t about to trust him again. He had some kind of failed science experiment sucker punch me. He wasn’t much of a Hulk if you ask me. That creepy orange-eyed guy used some kind of magic to make the green guy disappear, so I killed him. Finally, that liar Loki fessed up that he had the Space Stone. I took it from him to add to my collection and then after he tried to sweet talk and stab me, I killed him and left his brother for dead while I told my children to fetch the two stones from Earth while I went to Knowhere to get another stone.

Knowhere

After easily getting the Reality Stone from this freaky guy they call the Collector, I decided to use it to set a trap for my daughter, Gamora. She knows where the Soul Stone is located, it is the one that I still haven’t found, so I need her to tell me. I knew that as soon as she heard that I was collecting the stones she would come looking for me. I might not have been the dad of the year, but I taught her to be an amazingly strong and powerful warrior and even though she hates me and wants to kill me, I’m proud of her and want her with me.

My trap works perfectly and Gamora shows up. They think they are getting the drop on me and I let her think that she killed me. As if it would be that easy. She also brought along her boyfriend who calls himself Starman or something like that, he’s very confident and it seems like she genuinely cares for him. After I pulled back the curtain to let them know that I had fooled them, she revealed that she trusted him to kill her if it got to this point. I wanted to see what the boyfriend would do, and after a little prodding, he finally pulled the trigger. I used my cool new stone to make bubbles come out of the blaster. I love bubbles. Starman seems like a good guy. I hope he doesn’t vanish once I snap my fingers.

I take Gamora back to my ship and remind her how I chose her out of all the people on her planet to be my child. How I turned her burned out husk of a planet into a paradise. I asked her to join me in my plan but she is holding onto a big grudge about her childhood. She’s refused to tell me where the Soul Stone is located, so I took her in to visit her sister who was foolish enough to sneak onto my ship. I thought that Gamora hated me, but Nebula almost killed me so I have her trapped here. Nebula’s video recorders already confirmed my suspicion that Gamora has the information that I need.

Formir

I’m done with Nebula and should have killed her for betraying me with that traitor Ronan. But I’m hoping that I can use Gamora’s sympathy for my advantage. I only have to turn the screws on Nebula for a few moments before Gamora caves and tells me that she found out that the Soul Stone is hidden on Formir. It’s not going to take my children long to retrieve the stones from those weaklings on Earth, so I take Gamora with me to Formir so she can show me where the stone is located.

When we get to the mountain where Gamora says the stone is located, we meet a mysteriously cloaked man who has a red head. He’s not a ginger, his skin and whole head is bright red. I’m not sure if that happened when he got rejected by the stone or what, but he tells us that he’s cursed to guard the Soul Stone but can never wear it himself. To get the stone I have to sacrifice something I really love…

This is hard. There is only one beautiful little girl that comes to my mind. I wanted to train her to rule by my side and to eventually take my place, but I can’t let some pesky emotions get in the way of my goal. She fought me and will probably never forgive me, but with a tear in my eye I throw her off the cliff and as she careens towards the rocks below, I blink and find myself lying in a pool at the base of the mountain. I open my hand and the Soul Stone is in my grasp.

Titan

I told my Children that I would meet them back on Titan to get the other two stones from Earth. When I arrived, the place was deserted and I met a wizard from Earth who apparently crashed Ebony Maw’s spaceship there. Pretty soon, I realize that this is a trap and there are half a dozen people fighting me all at once trying to get my glove off. Everything is a blur, but a remember that the wizard was with the boyfriend, the genius in the suit of armor, the obnoxious kid in the red and blue outfit, a creepy looking girl with antennae, and some shirtless guy who screamed a lot.

At one point they actually got me pinned down after I pulled a moon out of orbit and sent it crashing onto the planet. I expected that to kill all of these annoyances but they worked well as a team and the creepy girl was able to jump on top of me and tried to put me to sleep. I remember taking that moment to remember Gamora and her sweet face. Maybe I should have taken a few minutes to breathe and mourn before I came here. She was so innocent when I met her all those years ago. I taught her everything I knew and all of these emotions came crashing down as they were forcing me to rest.

I couldn’t see anything, but I could hear the boyfriend asking about Gamora. I could hear that he cared for her and was just as upset as I am. If he hadn’t gotten so angry, they would have probably gotten the gauntlet. I don’t know what might have happened then, but the creepy girl broke her sleeper hold on me for a second and I was able to break free again. And somehow, Nebula was there! How the hell did she get off my ship? I wish it could have been her instead of Gamora.

After their sneak attack failed, they all took turns fighting me but I was able to fight them off and I stabbed the man in the metal suit with a sword that he was fighting me with. As he was dying in front of me, the wizard offered me a deal. He gave me the Time Stone and made me promise not to kill him. I figured he would die pretty soon anyway so I took the stone and used the Space Stone to go to Earth to find out what is taking so long with the other stone.

Earth

I arrive on earth to find that Proxima and Corvus have come up against a battle in Wakanda. I’ve heard about this place and their amazing technology. I had even wondered if the Soul Stone might be located there, but their fighters have actually managed to not only kill my Children but have been able to fend off my Outriders as well.

All of the warriors begin attacking me right out of the gate. There were several versions of the metal armor of Tony Stark’s that I fought on Titan, a man in a cat costume, a woman with bright white hair, a mutant raccoon and a living tree. I never knew Earth was such a colorful place, and I have to hand it to those humans, they are stronger than I thought, one of the fighters got in a couple punches and even held me off for a moment before I knocked him out cold.

My goal was to get to the android who has the Mind Stone embedded in his forehead. When I got to him, his girlfriend was attacking the stone and fighting me off all at once. Her ferocity reminds me of Gamora. As she destroys the stone and he is decimated along with it, she collapses to the ground in tears. I confess to her that today has been a difficult one but that time heals all wounds. Using the Time Stone, I rewind until the Mind Stone is back in one piece. Shocked, his girlfriend stares on in horror as I pluck the stone from his forehead and cast his faded out husk into the dust.

Victory

Finally, they are all mine. Power, Space, Reality, Soul, Time, and Mind. But before I can do anything, that irritating God of Thunder is back. Somehow he survived and he’s got a very large ax headed my way.

AAARGH!!

Thor has shoved this ax right into my body and now he is seething about the death of his brother and is pushing the ax deeper still. But I realize that I still have control of my hand. I say, “You should have aimed for the head,” before I snap my fingers.

For a moment, I see my daughter in a lonesome place where the sun is setting. She asks if I did it and I confirm that it is finished. She asks what it cost, and I explain as I choke back a tear that it cost everything. Thor asks what I did and I open up a portal and go home.

I have accomplished what I set out to do. As the sun sets, I sit on my front steps. The gauntlet looks terrible like the power it took to carry out my command has permanently damaged it. I take a deep breath and rest knowing that my plan is being carried out and that soon the cries of a thankful universe will be lifted up. You are welcome, my Children. You are welcome.

Did I miss anything? How did this movie make you feel about Thanos? I think it was a great accomplishment on the part of the Artists, Josh Brolin, and the writers to bring this Eternal to life and make him someone that we can shed a tear for. Which character’s journey would you like to hear next? I’m hoping to do at least 12 of the main characters. Maybe I’ll release one every month to keep the story fresh in my mind until we get the next chapter in the saga in 2019.